Samurais, Ninjas, and . . . Apaches?

I don't hear all that well.  That's another reason I neglected this blog for so long.

The local social season was winding down last spring when one of the Japanese and American Wives (JAW) Club organizers called me.  Had I not been in the kitchen, whipping up yet another tasty gourmet meal, I would not have heard the telephone ring.

"Will you be JAW Cochise for next year?"
"Hmmm.  I think I'd make a better Pocohantas or that pretty squaw who played opposite the Kevin Costner character in Dances with Wolves but Cochise would not be much of a stretch since my big brother forced me to watch 1,813 Western movies between 1958 and 1968."
. . . (either a long silence on the other end of the line or a witty remark I simply did not catch).
"Oooooookay.  So I'll call Weather Explorer and ask her to be the other Cochise."  Click.

"There's only one Cochise," I fretted to the Ancient Mariner when he wandered into the kitchen minutes later.  "Weather Explorer will have to be Geronimo."

And that is how this year's JAW English Conversation Group co-chief positions came to be filled by two renegade Apaches.

Some JAW members pose with their young hostage in the courtyard of the New Sanno Hotel in late July.

We deal with logistics.  Most of our work was of the advance variety:  hammering out a party calendar with our Japanese counterparts, filling the 30 American slots, and organizing our tribe into six party planning committees.  Geronimo handled most of that while Cochise conducted scientific experiments to determine how long it takes to brew coffee in the official JAW urn (45 minutes if the urn is plugged into a functioning electrical outlet). 

There are only a couple of things left to worry about between now and the final party next May.  Transporting people to and from the various events is one of those things; we've become inordinately fond of people who own 7-passenger vans and aren't afraid to drive in Japan.  Our other worry - you can help us with this one - is figuring out an end-of-year gift to present to the Japanese members come May.  Aprons and tote bags embroidered with the JAW initials have gone over well in the past.

"Our job is almost finished, Cochise.  Once we steal a couple of gift ideas from your readers, we can hop on our Appaloosas and ride off into the sunset."
"Let's be sure to fill our saddlebags with some of that candy the Japanese members passed around at the Tadodai House welcome coffee.  Quick!  We need to edge on over to that bowl on the piano before one of our curious young warriors unwraps what looks to be run-of-the-mill hard candy and figures out there's a perfectly round ball of chocolate under that thin fruit-flavored candy shell.  We must sacrifice ourselves to prevent a JAW version of a buffalo stampede."
"I agree.  But Apaches don't have saddlebags.  They ride bareback."
"Then how about we string a bunch of candy balls together and smuggle them out of here around your neck?"
"Sounds good to me, Kimosabe!"