Driving in the Fast Lane

My dog ate my blog? No one I know would believe that excuse.

How about this one? I was so busy talking to Weather Explorer and my back seat passengers -- two newcomers we'll call Daffy and Sunshine - on the way home from a shrine sale that I didn't realize I had entered one of those Electronic Toll Card (ETC) lanes until I stuck my toll ticket and a fistful of yen out the window and nobody was there. Not just no cashier but no cashier booth. Uh-oh.

Since I don't own one of those magic cards that signal "Open, Sesame" to the gates, I could not go forward. Due to (a) the half dozen cars lined up (patiently) behind me and (b) the nefarious tire shredders, I could not back up.

What happens when one commits a traffic faux pas in a foreign country?  In my case, a spry octagenarian toll road worker responded to my quasi-bilingual SOS ("Sumimasen!  Help me, please, I mean kudasai!  I made a mistake.  I am so sorry, I mean gomen nasai!  Sumimasen?  Is anyone there?  I do not know what to do!  I hope you can hear me over the laughter thundering from those rude ladies in my car.  I do not know who they are!  If they are American, I am French, n'est-ce pas?")

The spry octagenarian toll road worker, let's call him Mighty Mouse, emerged from a tunnel beside my car.  He waved his arms and all the cars lined up behind mine - poof! - disappeared.  Then Mighty Mouse shut a gate behind the car.  I am reasonably certain that the sign on the traffic side of the gate read:  Use a Different Lane as This One is Temporarily Blocked by a Stupid Gaijin.

I'll be Windexing my rear window as soon as I post this.

Relieving me of my toll ticket and yen, Might Mouse disappeared into that tunnel and returned moments later to present my change, bow politely, and open the gate.

Am I missing anything?  A minor detail perhaps but I'm pretty sure the monologue that was tripping off my tongue as we were approaching that bank of toll booths went something like this:

"Daffy and Sunshine, I don't like to brag (!) but you probably could not have chosen a better driver for your first big adventure in Japan.  Why, just yesterday I renewed my license to drive in Japan by acing a 50-question written test.  I have now managed to pass that test twice as many times as any other American you will meet in Japan because they all remember to renew their license before the expiration date."