And They Probably Refer to it as St. Foj

The Ancient Mariner steamed away from Yokosuka yesterday morning after spending most of his weekend chopping celery and slicing sausage. As the USS Blue Ridge slipped away from the pier, half the population of Japan heard the sailor's plaintive cry. "Save some gumbo for me!"

He is embarked on what the Navy refers to as Sea Trials and what we Navy spouses refer to as "Whoa, I foresee a lengthy deployment in the near future!"

Sea Trials are when the ship's crew drills, drills, and then drills some more. Athletes call it practice, actors call it rehearsal. Because the Navy cannot bear to use expressions easily understood by the general population, they have established a Special Task Force on Obfuscating Jargon with a staff of 938 which meets in Hawaii four times a year to coin new expressions for some of the world's oldest and most basic concepts. They got this idea from the computer industry.


Just kidding (at least about the size of the staff).

Sayonara, Stanley

It's time to wrap up Stanley's adventures and announce a contest winner.

There's a new arrival from Chicago who needs an escort for the next few days/weeks until I can match her up with appropriate playmates. Her husband is a reservist re-called to active duty with the Seventh Fleet. She is totally new to military life. Let's hope she's a Jimmy Buffett fan because I like to kick off my Quick Immersion Course for Middle-Aged Career Women with a chorus of "If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane."


Stanley spent his last day in Japan touring the USS Blue Ridge.

The lady who administers the H1N1 shots asked Stanley to help distract the Fleet Surgeon. "Aye-aye, ma'am," said Stanley. "Whoa, Uncle Mike! You should see the BIG NEEDLE she's sticking into your arm."


Eating lunch in the Flag Mess was a special treat for Stanley. "Fresh flowers! How fancy! I can't wait to see the look on Aunt Kathy's face when she sees this picture." "Yes, I'm sure the flowers will make her feel a whole lot better about my monthly Mess bill."


"You have a great staff, Uncle Mike. Why are the officers wearing pajamas?"

"Heck if I know. I had to wear my Dress Blues today because I'm going to the Japanese Navy base to celebrate the fiftieth anniversary of cooperation between our navies."


"I had fun spending the day with you, Uncle Mike."

"It was my pleasure, Stanley. I hope you had fun in Japan and that you will come again soon. Please give Kristen and her sisters big hugs from us when you get back to Michigan."

Taiko drum roll, please. The winner of the 6-word biography contest is Kate for "What? I can't hear you. What?" A special prize will be awarded for the Most Blatantly Self-Serving entry, "Note to self: send Deuce beer," as soon as someone can tell me whether 'anonymous' is Sandy or Dave.