TCCOR Shmeakore

We are in "TCCOR 1 Caution" mode here. What does that mean? I wondered the same thing, the way I have sometimes wondered which Tornado W (watch or warning) should send me racing to the SW corner of the basement or which military base flag condition (red or black) means I ought to call an ambulance or which terrorist threat color might want to make me think twice about getting on that airplane. So I did a little research.

Tropical Cyclone Conditions of Awareness (TCCOR) is a system prepared by and for American military personnel stationed in Japan. Apparently whatever system the native Japanese have developed over the past several centuries does not suit our purpose (surviving a cyclone, I assume) although it's possible some junior officer with a Japanese wife simply asked her to translate the local version a few decades ago and was subsequently promoted to senior officer status on the basis of his hard work. But I digress. Those cars speeding up and down weather hill are very distracting.

TCCOR levels start at 4 and end at 1. The levels denote wind intensity and the time remaining before those wind conditions are expected to arrive where I happen to be standing. From July to November here, we are always in TCCOR 4 mode. This means we are always within three days of possible "destructive winds of 50 kts or greater".

Let's just assume (a) "kts" denotes knots and not karats in this instance, and (b) Matt, Emma, and Mary already know to never use an abbreviation in a paper until they have first spelled out the complete word. So, what is a knot other than a possible title for Dave Eggers next book? Seriously, are we talking knots per hour and, if so, how does a knot per hour compare with a mile per hour? This is your shot at some of those burger cookies, people.

TCCOR 3 is declared when those 50 kts winds are within 2 days of me, TCCOR 2 means "within 24 hours," and TCCOR 1 is "within 12 hours."

Which brings us to TCCOR 1 Caution: the winds are blowing at 34-49 knots and are expected to reach 50 knots or more within 12 hours. When/if the winds reach 50 knots or greater on this installation, TCCOR 1 Emergency will be declared.

According to the directives issued to all military personnel upon arriving in Japan, schools are closed when TCCOR 1 is declared. When TCCOR 1 Caution is declared, "All outdoor activities should cease, except those in direct support of urgent military missions. All non-mission-essential personnel are released from work and should be off the streets and in their residences."

But, um, someone decided not to close the schools when TCCOR 1 was declared. They still did not close the schools when the caution was issued although they reserved the right to send the children home early. I imagine there are scores of kindergarteners here who will never forget their first day of school, assuming they survive being blown into Tokyo Bay when the winds top 50 knots and someone decides to send them home.

I'm wondering how we informed people about potential emergencies 50 years ago. Because, as I told that base emergency preparedness "expert" two years ago, it simply does not make any sense to me that we are putting all of our eggs in the electronic basket. They are communicating information to us via television, radio, and the base website. The people who live off-base don't receive that television channel and recent arrivals (me, for instance) don't have a television to receive any channel whatsoever. The base website has a questionable security certificate, presenting a hurdle to many. When I finally managed to get over that hurdle, I read what I already knew, "We are in TCCOR 1 Caution. Please watch Channel 15 and check this website for additional information."

The wind has been blowing the screen back and forth across my bedroom window all the time I've been writing. Normally I would spend about two hours editing this diatribe into a somewhat tidy little essay but I'm going to post this now just in case one of those scary Harry Potter trees crashes through my window. Because if I'm not around to say I told you so, I sure as heck hope one of you will either do so on my behalf or at the very least write a wildly popular song, "She Told Them So," that Sandy can sing at my funeral and then perform at the Grammy Awards, perhaps as a duet with Elton John. Maybe a little medley, even, but don't use any post-1975 pictures of me if I'll be sharing screen time with Princess Di.

Thanks.